Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Gods of War.

In Soviet Russia, Golem create YOU!

This is my first AAR for my blog. It is also only the second game of Weird War II I have ever played. The first was a throw together game at my friend Rob's last Saturday. We just put some models on the table and began tinkering with a scenario idea. I had my Pulp/WWWII warband of Kook's Partisans. He had some Germans and an AT-43 Red Blok Walker (OOP from Rackham) that filled in as a Weird War II Soviet walker. We just made it up as we went along. It was a great game. It also gave me an idea for an improved, less half assed scenario. This past Monday we gamed it out again at the game club, but this time with complete forces and actual objectives.

The Forces:

The Bielski Partisans:Tuvia and Alexander "Zus" Bielski
Three Partisans (2 Rifles, 1 DP-28 LMG)
Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook and his Golem.

Here they are mugging for a group shot:

The SS Nasties:

SS-Untersturmführer Hans Kartoffelkopf and SS-Unterscharführer Tropfenhosen
Five SS Tough guys (4 rifles, 1 MG-42 LMG)
Four Trucks (yes, trucks)
One secret cargo bound for Poland...

Due to the sheer evil of these guys, no photographs of them came out when developed (actually, we just didn't get a photo of them).

The Soviets:

Lt. головка металла and Sgt. Утюг Иван
Five "Die for the Motherland" Red Army soldiers (4 rifles, 1 DP-28 LMG)
One T-34/76
One God of War (Бог войны) 7k Walker Armored Suit (with Dshk HMG and twin rocket launcher)

We uh, also forgot to take pics of these guys as well.

The Scenario:

Tuvia and his band of Partisans had just ambushed and were ready to loot a lone German transport truck when all of a sudden...a new convoy of German trucks appeared around the corner and were heading right for them! Before they even had a chance to take up positions to ambush this new convoy, out of nowhere a T-34 tank festooned with Soviet soldiers comes crashing through the bushes to their left. At the same time, at remarkable speed, the German convoy rushes towards them and disgorges a horde of angry SS men...

"What the hell is going on?" Tuvia yelled to his brother Zus next to him, receiving a scolding glare from Kook. "Sorry Rabbi..."

"There's the convoy comrades! Attack! They have the 7k! Forward for the Motherland!" yelled Lt. головка металла to his soldiers.

"Achtung! Bolshevik schweinhunds! They must not stop us from getting through! They are after our shipment. It must not fall back into their hands! Angriff! For the Fatherland!"

"7k? Shipment? What are these guys talking about?" Zus barked while bolting his rifle and taking aim at the lead German soldier at the front of the truck...

Objectives: The Nazis are attempting to drive their convoy off the opposite table edge to allow them to get their secret captured cargo to a train in Poland bound for Berlin. But first they have to stop at a telegraph office and relay a secret message to a secret bunker in a secret factory in Berlin. The Germans like to keep a lot of secrets. The Soviets are a special detachment of NKVD security tasked with tracking down, stopping the Nazi convoy, and retrieving the Nazi special cargo. They are also under orders to destroy any one who stands in the way of their mission. The Partisans...well, they are there to loot the convoy for supplies, survive the onslaught of the arrival of the SS, and those Soviets that just arrived don't look like the friendliest bunch of comrades.

The table: A nice sunny day in Belarus...

A telegraph office on the right (with their very own vegetable garden!). A garage on the left side across the street. The crashed Opel Blitz and Bessie the cow in the middle. And a string of telegraph poles running down the road. Each of these features are the various victory locations for the game. We used the Where Heroes Dare! rules and each force was created using the Where Heroes Dare! Dossier PDF tool.

The Dare Locations and their effect in the game:

Bessie and the Opel: A box filled with Molotov Cocktails. (Easy Dare)

The Telegraph Line: If the Partisans or Soviets, the line is either cut to prevent the Nazis from sending their message, or if the Nazis, the line is repaired (after having a second Dare check). (Easy Dare)

The Garage: If the Nazis, a Panzer IV G tank. If the Partisans or Soviets, a crate of Panzerfausts (none of those peasants knows how to drive a German tank, much less fire the gun. Too many moving parts). (Medium Dare)

The Telegraph Office: If the Germans, they are able to send their message (but only if the line is repaired). If they attempt this Dare without having found the Telegraph Line Dare, they find the line not working and must fix it before sending the message. If the Partisans or Soviets, they may send for a reinforcement of a 7k. (Medium Dare)

They say the first casualty of war is innocence. Bessie would beg to differ.

This was one of the objectives, the scene of the Partisans original ambush on a German truck that went horribly wrong. For the cow. Some Partisans will be eating well tonight. Though I'm not sure beef hit by Opel Blitz truck counts as Kosher.

The Game: Each player rolled his initiative at the start of the turn. The lowest initiative went first, followed by the next highest, and then the highest. Ties were rerolled.

Things started badly for the Nazis. Their truck got hit by the T-34 and almost blew up, scattering the passengers onto the road.

The Soviets moved towards the telegraph office while the LMG took pot shots at the Partisans. This came as a surprise to the Partisans (though how surprising is it really?).

The Partisans took up positions in the woods and field and returned fire at the Soviets while Kook and the Golem moved towards the garage.

The Nazis tried to move up more trucks and get their men into position while the SS leader took matters into his own hands and ran towards the first Dare location (the telegraph line). He solved the Dare and realized that the line was cut and so must wait until next turn to fix it. The Soviets moved into position in the telegraph office and began to pour fire into everything near them while the T-34 loitered around trying to find the fleeting targets of the madly scrambling for cover SS. The Soviet 7k began to wander around behind the telegraph office doing...well...nothing really.

Next, Kook managed to find a crate of Panzerfausts under a tarp in the garage. "What are these tube things?" The Golem just stared blankly at him. Somehow, the idea of a Rabbi Kabbalah Mystic wielding a Panzerfaust just sounds like a recipe for trouble. Or fun.

Meanwhile, as the SS advanced on the telegraph office and began to take casualties, the fun really began when the SS secret cargo was revealed to be none other than a captured 7k Walker Armored Suit! Seeing this metal menace approach, Kook sent his trusty Golem to attack the armored behemoth. The titans clashed in the street as a huge melee ensued inside the telegraph office (subsequently dubbed the house of death) between the Soviets and the SS .

A very important lesson was learned this day: do NOT bring a golem to a robot fight.

The Golem went down, and went down hard.

(We used the Big Robot rules from the Where Heroes Dare! book and I used the regular Companion rules to create the Golem and give him Schticks to match).

Kook tried at least twice to fire a Panzerfaust rocket at the captured German 7k only to miss. What can we say? The guy is a Rabbi trained in the mystical arts of Kabbalah who uses a Golem to cut him some slack for bad shooting. It must be the glasses. After realizing that these Panzerfausts are probably better off in the hands of one of his Partisan friends, Kook dashed for cover.

In the chaos of the fighting for the telegraph office, the Soviet 7k finally managed to recover from a drunken Vodka stupor and ambush the captured German 7k from behind. After putting a rocket round into it's back, the damaged 7k stumbles backwards and falls into a heap of burning scrap. Zus discovers the box of Molotov Cocktails in the back of the crashed Opel truck only to realize that the captured German 7k is already burning.

Strewn with corpses and a burning 7k, the battlefield begins to quiet. The SS are all dead, the Partisans are pulling back and away from the fight, and the Soviets are the only ones who can claim to have achieved 2 out of their 3 objectives.

It was a very fun game. Everyone got to see a robot take on a Golem and some SS were killed, which is always a fun time.

Thanks to the guys who humored me with the scenario.

Nazis: Rob
Partisans: Dieter
Soviets: Mike "Woody"

Dieter took all of the pics with his new fancy schmancy notebook thing. Thanks again!

*Dieter came up with the line about the innocence of war and killing cows.

Also, no cows were harmed in the making of this AAR.


  1. Great game! I do agree that the Kookster needs to get his prescription checked.

  2. Great report and pictures!

    I'm relieved that no actual harm was done to the cow. You wouldn't want a visit from those animal rights people!!!

  3. Good batrep but I think the cow was harmed.